Old Friends, New Friends
Sometimes these can be one in the same, like my friend Kim. We went to high school together in the early to mid 80's and recently found out we live in the same town. This is big news because we went to school in Northern Virginia and ended up in Phoenix, AZ living about 5 minutes away from one another. I may have written a post about this in the past so, if this is redundant, sorry about that. We have gotten together to reminisce a few times thus far and I'm so happy to have found her, and happy that we have had this chance to become great friends.
We went to happy hour last night at a local bar and got to talking about many things, but one thing in particular peaked my interest. Her boyfriend, and I use italics because he is a boy and he is her friend. Other than that it is a mystery to her. The actual status of the relationship is one big gray area, and this isn't a good thing when you want to know where you stand. We kept coming back to the same thing: How can men and women see relationships so differently? Why can they not communicate effectively?
I know from my own experiences that men and women are wired differently but how can you overcome this difference and actually get somewhere? This is the mystery. Kim wants to take it slowly, by that I mean getting the truth from him as to what he really wants out of this relationship. I guess you could say that baby steps are in order because all women know that men are overly sensitive when you start talking relationship and she doesn't want to scare him off.
You see, having been married and of the market for so long I really am not sure what she should do next so I am am listing the help of any of my readers. Any subtle hints you can think of that won't cause this guy to head for the hills? She says he's a great guy and knows there's something there and just wants to know where she stands. This isn't too much to ask. Is it?
posted by Miss Chris | 12:33 PM
13 Comments:
Maybe she should read the book "He's Just Not That Into You". I can't remember who wrote it. I haven't read it myself, but have heard good things about it.
I've been off the market myself for a little too long. I always joke that if I suddenly became single again, I'd relish the break and probably become the BIGGEST hermit and LOVE it. Kinda sinister, huh? That's how much I hate dating and would do anything to avoid it again in the future. So I really can't think of any way to aid this conversation. I just like to hear myself yammer...
Good evening, Miss Chris....!
Becky: Funny you should mention that book because we talked about it and there's even a movie out too. I think we may need to go see it!
Jen: I have hermit tendencies myself... Not at all sinister, in my opinion. :)
As a guy, if a woman shows any interest in us, we are usually pretty much like puppies.
I've read that book - very good!!!
Sorry, don't have any words of advice. I'm still kinda waiting for some developments in my own relationship.
btw, Chris it's so cool that you found a friend from Reston living so close to you.
MDMHVONPA: So maybe she should just go for it and point blank tell him how she feels... I wish my hubby was a puppy dog. Sounds very romantic :)
Lisa: I sure hope you find something good with your relationship :)
Honesty...up front. ANY person worth their weight/time/energy, whether male or female, owes this to themselves. And if he "runs for the hills" because of this, he simply wasn't worth the weight/time/energy in the first place.
Never settle when it comes to happiness. Just a thought...
Becky is correct. I've read that book and it is good, but, also full of things most women should already know. I just saw the movie "He's Just Not That Into You" last week - I'd start there. It's a good one!
IMO, if you have to "work" for their attention then feed them to the pigs. You are worth working for.
I don't get the "Rules Book". Why does HE get to make all the rules???
It's our life too. If he can't deal with her, then he's not right for her. Ya know?
Just be honest about how you feel is the best way.
Don´t play games and you do not need self help books.
Just open your heart and yourself.
Honest communication works the best.
Love,
Herrad
Wow, well, if he hasn't made it clear...she needs to consider he isn't clear. have to agree with Becky.
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